KEEP CALM CRAFT ON • HANDMADE CHRISTMAS GIFTS

There's something about Winter that puts me in the mood to create, work with my hands, make things for the people I love. I've really been itching to bring out my sewing machine and start preparing clothes and blankets and the like for this Spring baby, but pretty much my entire studio is in storage - so I've been hoarding things on my Pinterest boards to compensate. I did happen to grab my knitting bag and all the yarn I could fit in it and find a little spot for when packing up the car, so that's been my creative outlet here in Missouri. Back in July, I finished a scarf up for Alex that was intended to be a February birthday scarf. I've had a matching hat on my to-do list since (I'm quite the procrastinating crocheter it seems). I knew we would be on a tight budget for Christmas this year and I guess that was just the excuse that I needed to get motivated and whip one up. I used this video tutorial, but started with 16 stitches instead of 12 since my yarn was a bit thinner than what she uses in the video. I finished off the edge by alternating between front post double crochet and back post double crochet to give it a ribbed look. Alex seems pretty fond of it and says it's warm, so I consider it a success for my first attempt at a beanie, especially since I had to tweak the pattern and wing it a bit. He catches me staring at him a lot when he wears it because I just can't get over how neat it is that I made that and it doesn't look like he's wearing a pot holder on his head or something. I touched each stitch and it actually looks like a hat.

We spent Thanksgiving weekend in Los Alamos and a friend gave me a crash course in knitting while we were there. I've always wanted to learn, but just haven't had the patience to wade through Youtube videos to teach myself. I played around for a few weeks before deciding I was confident enough to set out on a legitimate project. A little scarf for Ev seemed doable, so I started with 24 stitches and used a garter stitch until I felt like it was long enough (180 rows or so). I added the tassels to the end because she had been asking for a 'colorful scarf,' and I'm really pleased with how it turned out. I don't have the things I need to block anything, but my stitches were all pretty tight and even and the little imperfections seem to make it all come together as a kid scarf, in my opinion. I think I'm going to try my hand at a cowl for myself next. I'd really like to move beyond scarves and start knitting in the round to make a hat, but that seems a bit overwhelming right now. We'll see. I also have plans to knit a little mustard yellow bonnet for the new babe, but I obviously have no newborn to test it on - so Ev's baby doll will probably have to suffice.

I'm linking up with Keep Calm, Craft On over at Frontier Dreams.

'The act of creating, in one form or another, preserves my sanity amongst the chaos of life.

This explains why I always have more than one project going at a time as well as why my housework tends to fall behind. I enjoy seeing what others are working on and keeping calm with, too.

What are you creating? What is keeping you going?'

AN OVERDUE SCARF + A NEW FOUND LOVE

A few months ago when it was still a barren polar vortex wasteland of sludge outside, I started crocheting a scarf, a birthday scarf to be precise, but since said birthday was in February I've named it 'You taught me how to love crocheting in the Summer.' scarf. You see, I always thought crocheting in the Summer was a bit oxymoronic. It's a hundred degrees outside and you're making a scarf? That's strange, I would have said. Now I find it absolutely genius. You see, as I'm crocheting scarves indoors in the worst parts of Winter, I do it begrudgingly. It's cold outside and I just want to finish this blasted scarf so I can wear it, is what I usually think. Come Summer, you have all the time in the world before cold weather arrives, which seems to make you even more efficient in some strange way. When it's so hot in your apartment that you can't bear to move more than a crochet stitch requires and your face is melting off, but you can't just sit on your couch and mindlessly stare at the wall, you crochet and dream of Fall leaves. After the horrendous Winter of 2013, I'm perfectly content as my face is melting off, but the Winter is inevitable and the thought of that is depressing, so you do the next best thing and think of Fall, perfect Fall. Now most people would think that what I'm about to share should have been kept private to preserve my husband's reputation, but he's a shameless man and I kind of love that about him, so here we go. He asked me to teach him how to crochet this weekend (for rugged, outdoor survival, basket weaving purposes of course), so I did and it gave me the crochet bug, so I picked up my abandoned scarf project and hook and finished that puppy up, then quickly got on with another project for myself because I never make anything for myself. I wanted something sort of like this, but I'm really still in the video tutorial comfort zone of crocheting, so I looked for something similar on Youtube and found a shawl tutorial that I thought would make a good scarf if I folded it over on itself a few times. Then I went a little overboard and ordered way too many skeins of fun yarn in hopes of making Ev this ridiculous hat that I know she'll love.

I'm linking up on the Keep Calm, Craft On link up over at Frontier Dreams.

A NEW LITTLE PROJECT

If you've been here awhile, you've probably read all about my ponderings on having an only child - what I'm about to say is going to shock those of you that have. Before I was pregnant with Ev, Alex and I wanted 6 or 8 kids. I don't know what kind of new age drug I was on or what was so easy about my life that I thought I should ever take responsibility for eight humans, but that was our plan. In my perfect future dream world, not only would I be popping out dream babies every two years, but I would have the time to go back to school, start an art career from home, cook delicious meals, homeschool my lovely school bus of children, and remain madly in love with my husband. I never said any of this out loud or even consciously thought it, but I assume I had to believe that to ever agree to having eight kids.  Luckily my husband saw the light at about the same time I did and we just looked at each other like, 'I was crazy. Were you crazy? Ok let's get sane together and raise this one baby together and maybe think about another later, but probably not.' I say all of that to get to this point - I finally found the time to do something besides sleep and eat and clean and write here.

I'm not going to exaggerate. We are in desperate need of some extra income. I don't say this to sound an alarm or ask for pity - it's just a fact that life is hard to navigate without money. So I've been brainstorming about ways to work from home doing what I love for over a year now and the single thing that was stopping me was my perfectionist nature. My desire to alleviate some of the pressure off of Alex (who is working night and day and trying to finish a degree and well, the poor man is tired) finally overroad my OCD tendencies and here I am. I've opened an Etsy shop. It isn't perfect. It probably isn't what I'll sell forever, but possibly. I don't have any fancy graphics made. I don't have all the social media pages set up for it, but I made some things and opened a shop and that's what I'm trying to focus on right now. I set out on a mission to work with what I already had - so many of my goals are surrounded by financial needs (a new lens, a new computer, editing software, classes, etc.) -and I just wanted to get started on something. So head on over there and take a look around - it's not what I imagined I'd be doing for a living, but I'm pretty proud of what I managed to create.

Keep Calm Craft On • A Birthday Scarf

A few days before Christmas, Alex casually mentioned that he would like me to make him a hat someday. I, of course, didn't have the time to make him one before Christmas, so in a moment of stocking stuffer shopping craze I ran to Hobby Lobby just for a skein of yarn. I looked and looked and finally settled on a rugged gray yarn, the only 100% wool yarn that they had (which reminds me - I would love some recommendations on your favorite all natural yarn and where to find it). I put it in his stocking with an 'I owe you a hat' tag on it. Somehow it made it into one of the boxes that were important enough to be put onto the trailer, all the way here, and into our storage unit. I've been itching to do something, anything creative since well, it's winter with a toddler, but we don't have a lot of room with our temporary living situation so I can't drag out the sewing machine. So I grabbed my crochet and drawing supplies and decided to make do with these things until we move to Brooklyn.
Alex originally requested a hat, but that was before we moved back to the East coast where scarves aren't accessories - you actually need them, and he's never been much of a scarf man before now. So he looked at my scarf that is so big it might actually be a blanket with envy a few days ago and I thought I'd whip one up for him. In my experience, crocheting for men is really hard. There are so many girly, frilly scarf and hat patterns out there, but few simple or handsome patterns suitable for men. I set out to find one and settled on a basket weave scarf, which is turning out really well so far. His birthday is coming up next month, so I thought I would finish it up by then and give it to him along with a few books on wild edibles and survival in the Northeast (he's an outdoor nerd).

What kind of crafty things are you working on lately? How do you stay busy in the Winter?

Linking up with Keep Calm Craft On over at Frontier Dreams.

Keep Calm Craft On • A Purple Pixie Hat

There are so many things that I want to learn to do. Sometimes I think it's actually kind of unhealthy because I often hop from one thing to another without ever learning or finishing much. My mom taught me how to crochet when I was younger - nothing in depth, just the basic single stitch. I never did much with what she had taught me, but I kept the little knowledge I had tucked away. I've never crocheted anything from start to finish. I've lost count of how many times I've bought the yarn, started something, then set it down and never picked it back up again. I think that's one of the things about blogging - it holds me accountable. I finish things because I want to share them here. Having Evie has really helped me in this department too. She watches everything I do and I want to model consistency and hard work to her. I want her to grow up knowing what it looks like to follow through. I was scanning through a few crochet boards on Pinterest a few days ago and came across this free pattern for a pixie hat. (Note: she recommends the bubble stitch, but I really liked the way the cluster stitch looked.) I've wanted to make a hat for Ev since I was pregnant with her, but I was always too lazy to learn how to crochet in the round. (It's probably easier than it looks, but it's always intimidated me.) This was perfect! You just crochet a big panel, fold it in half, sew it together and you have a hat! So I grabbed some yarn I had laying around (I really like 100% cotton yarn, but plan on trying wool next.) and got to work on Saturday. I feel like it's moving pretty quickly (Shortly after this picture was taken, Evie pulled the project down off of the dining room table and had fun unraveling it down the hallway. When discovered, I tried not to cry. I just keep telling myself that I get to practice more now.) My goal is to have it done by Christmas. After I've finished the panel, I'm going to add a pouf on the top, cords on the ears, a crocheted flower around the face, and line it with some floral vintage fabric I have.

I'm linking up with Nicole over at Frontier Dreams.

Happy Halloween!

So, we as a family have an awful track record as far as Halloween pictures go. For some (really frustrating) reason I always end up with one dark and blurry picture of us in our costumes. The year that I was pregnant with Ev, Alex and I were pregnant skeletons (you can see that here - notice the one dark phone picture of us wearing the costumes amidst a sea of pictures taken with my real camera), and last year we were The Flintstones (also known as the time my husband wore a dress). Because of my perfectionist ways and a baby that never slept and therefore, Mama never blogged, I never posted the one picture of us from last year, so here you go. I made all three of our costumes for a whopping $20.

I'm very proud of my cheap DIY (and last minute, always) costume abilities - I just wish I could remember to take more pictures of the final product. So this year, I was determined to get at least one picture with all of us in it with my camera and while I managed to do that, I also managed to forget to take one with my phone to share on Instagram for our out of town family to see the night of our wearing them and to take any pictures of Evie trick or treating. Oh well, such is the life of a closet social media hater. Anyway, a few months back, my dad and stepmom sent us a package. They had taken a trip to the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum in Washington D.C. and bought Evie an astronaut costume. She was a little young to one, know what an astronaut was or two, be interested is playing dress up, but a few months later, an obsession with the moon has developed and she was all about her astronaut costume. While I had ideas for a helmet and boots and gloves and a cardboard box rocket ship, I would say her costume accompanied by ours was a success. I now realize she probably wouldn't have kept any of the extra things on anyway.

Ev's current obsession is the number two. When you ask her to say 'one' she thinks you've started counting and excitedly says 'twoooo' and holds out two fingers with the proudest smile because 'I know the answer!' This kid, man, she kills me with her cuteness. So in the pictures above, I asked her to hold up 'one' (for 'that's one small step for man, a giant leap for mankind' of course), and she kept saying 'twooo,' so we went with it and said 'that's two steps for a baby. . .' all night. I'm just glad she isn't old enough to realize how nerdy her parents are yet. That bottom one is her focusing on holding up one finger instead.

Further proof of why my kid is my favorite human: she looked over and saw us in 'astronaut poses,' so she decided she needed to put her hands on her hips too and that is how the cutest family astronaut picture was made.

Her costume was obviously pretty easy, but I was sort of out of my element with ours. I could not, until the last minute, think of a cheap way to make an adult astronaut costume. I searched Pinterest. I watched jumpsuits on Ebay for weeks and nothing was selling for under $30, plus I would have to buy the patches. I had almost given up when inspiration struck - disposable painter's jumpsuits! None of the local hardware stores sold them small enough for Alex and I to wear, so I ordered them on Amazon for $10 a piece and they arrived the day before Halloween. I also ordered two American flag patches and two NASA patches and sewed them on like an hour before we were heading out the door (late) for trick or treating. The Jacobs are always late. Anyways, we added belts and boots and along with Ev's costume, a NASA jacket was also sent, so I wore that and there you go - astronauts for $20 each. We went to a church trunk or treat and it was cold and loud and we didn't stay long, but Evie was probably the happiest kid there just because I zipped her into my jacket and let her eat candy.

I hope you all had a fun Halloween! I would love to see your costumes, so leave a link below and I'll be sure to check them out.

Hands

This was taken on Valentine's Day evening, when you were just two weeks old.

As you lay in my arms with your eyes sweetly closed, rocking away in the little vintage rocking chair in your room, I often just hold your hands in mine and stare, wondering what they'll experience in the years to come. I run my fingers over yours and trace the lines on your palms, listening to the unending questions move through my mind like a bird in flight. There are so many - so many things I don't know about you yet, so many moments to be experienced with you, so many memories to be made. I think about what your hands will look like someday soon when they're no longer the chubby infant hands that I love, but are skinny and full of energy as you paint, color, clap, cartwheel, and hold mine as we walk through a parking lot. I think about the man who will someday hold them in his as you stand at the alter together and become one. I look at them and realize they will be the same hands that comfort and hold the continuance of the family that we're working so hard to build, your children, my grandchildren, the future. I wonder how you'll use them - will they often be covered in graphite and charcoal as you sketch the world around you like I love to do? Will you regularly be scrubbing paint from under your finger nails after you've been pouring out your creativity onto canvas? What sort of places will they steer you in your adventurous twenties? What sort of stories will they channel onto paper for you? What sort of books will you hold in them as you devour the words on pages that will shape your thoughts and life? You may not do any of these things, but I ponder on them just the same.

So many nights I sit with my fingers poised above a keyboard, trying to put the love I feel for you into words, and so many times I feel like I fail at it. I guess that's the downside to being an artist - you always have this desire in you to create, to put words on paper, to document the beauty around you, but you're almost never satisfied with the outcome. It is never exactly what you pictured. It's never an accurate enough portrayal of the moment or feeling you were trying to preserve. I think about you reading this blog one day and I hope you will - I write it for you above all else. Sometimes someone will tell me that I should write a book and all I can think is that I sort of am. I'm writing our book, your book, the story of this family, and I believe it is the most important thing I could be writing. At the end of my life, all you'll have are these words. What you'll know of your Papa and I will be in what I leave you. I know I will always be nostalgic because of this - because the only records of my existence are in the moments that I accumulate and tuck away so that they can be relived and remembered long after I'm gone.

Your soul entered this world with a fierceness that I still can't wrap my mind around. The act of giving birth to you was such a concentration of love in such a short period of time. The moment that our eyes met, I knew that I would have to be better. I needed to evolve in the worst way. Whenever doubt creeps in about whether I can do this, whether I can be the mother you deserve and become the woman I want to become, you always find a way to assure me that I can and that I'm doing something magnificent. In your eyes, I can do no wrong. Your Papa and I are the lights of your life, your moon and sun. I want to honor that with my actions. I want to be better for you, but most importantly, I want you to be better than me.

"I can change the world - with my own two hands.

Make it a better place - with my own two hands.

Make it a kinder place - with my own two hands. . .

I can make peace on Earth - with my own two hands.

I can clean up the Earth - with my own two hands.

I can reach out to you - with my own two hands. . .

I'm gonna make it a brighter place.

I'm gonna make it a safer place.

I'm gonna help the human race. . .

Oh, with my own, with my own two hands."

- Ben Harper