FILM • WINTER 2013

I have hours and hours and hours of video footage on multiple thumb drives from years ago, so I've started trying to compile them into short videos. Here's one from Winter of 2013 - our last few months in New Mexico before we moved to Brooklyn.

Earlier today, Evie was watching me edit the video. She started to tear up and when she spoke, I could hear her choking back tears. She said, "I wish I could be like that again." I asked, "Like what?" "So cute and happy and nice, like I am there."

A few hours before that, we were in a tussle about something. I'm sure it was me asking her to do something and her adamantly and violently refusing. I'm not even sure what I said to her, but I remember I was trying to encourage her. I was trying to complement her and build her up to help her feel up for the task I asked her to do. She yelled back at me, "I'm just a stupid, disrespectful kid!'

Parenting a five year old has been hard, but I'm convinced being five has to be a lot harder. When we've had a day like today, I wonder if I've done something to royally screw this up. I wonder if all kids say these kinds of things, think these kinds of things about themselves.

I've been reading parenting books and articles for years, trying to gain an idea of what kind of parent I want to be, hoping desperately that I can do this right. I still have no idea what I'm doing most days, but I have learned that parenting her the 'normal' way isn't an option. She isn't 'normal,' but I love her that way. The extra effort that I have to put into being her Mama is worth it.

FOUR

MOTHER'S DAY HIKE

 

 

 

I'm a pretty easy woman to please when it comes to holidays. Even being four weeks postpartum, all I wanted to do was get out of the house. I had been talking about hiking basically since an hour after Noble was born and though I wasn't medically cleared yet, I felt good enough and wanted to get some exercise, so I did. The differences between the first and second baby are comical. I'm pretty sure I hadn't even gotten up enough energy to do the dishes four weeks after Ev was born. Alex knows me all too well - his gift was bringing the tripod along to get a family picture. . . but we forgot the piece that actually attaches the camera to the tripod, so that was a no go. We did the next best thing and tried to use the camera strap to somehow rig the camera up on the tripod, hence the picture up there with just Evie's arm in it. Then we just decided to use a log, nature's tripod, and that worked out swimmingly. We weren't at all prepared for how cold it would still be up on the peak, but we don't give up easily. We scrounged around in the car for abandoned clothes, Alex gave Ev his flannel shirt that fit her like a dress, and we were on our way. We chose the 10k trailhead up on Sandia Crest because we'd been here before (on our third anniversary actually) and didn't want to push our luck driving around looking for a new spot on our first hike with two kids. Once we got moving, it wasn't quite as cold, but we still pretty much had all the trails to ourselves. Alex has been on this 'prepping' kick lately, so we basically have stockpiles of MREs around the house. He grabbed one of those for all of us to share and Evie didn't stop shouting the entire time, 'This is the best picnic EVER!' It reminded me so much of something my Dad would have done. Everything he did was magic when I was a little girl. I'm always astounded at the beauty and flourishing wildlife that is just a short drive from a barren desert. New Mexico is a quirky place - it really never stops surprising me.

THREE

 

To my sweet Ovie Lou,

as I like to call you these days (and to which you adamantly protest almost every time - 'No, Mama - it's EHHH-vee, not OHH-vee!'),

You're three and your eyes are sparkling and face is all aglow. You've insisted on it being your birthday every day for months now, but today is the day. We woke you up with a 'Happy Birthday' this morning, which you said right back. You fail to understand the concept of the Happy Birthday phrase and see it more as a greeting like 'good morning' or 'have a good day.' All day you would spread your cheer with 'happy birthday' responses, making people chuckle. I made salisbury steak a few nights before your birthday and you were sure that I had lost it - brown gravy was all wrong. Where was the white gravy? Where were the muffins (biscuits)?! So I knew then that your birthday breakfast would be biscuits and gravy.

After biscuits and gravy, we went off to church. It seems that people (especially older people) think that children need treats, all the time, at every event, whenever possible. I usually don't mind much when you've had a few treats in church, but I didn't want it to spoil your birthday cake. I knew you'd appreciate it more if you hadn't been munching on sweets all morning, so we had a talk along the way about how to tell someone, 'No, thank you. I'm having birthday cake later.' To my surprise, you succeeded in our endeavor to practice self control. A toaster oven is the extent of my baking abilities these days, so I knew I wouldn't be able to bake you an actual cake - and as much as I hate to admit it, I can't let my knowledge of what terrible things store bought frosting is made of go even on holidays. So I picked out the healthiest boxed whole wheat brownies I could find and you picked out sprinkles and dinosaur birthday candles, and together we made magic. You helped me pour and mix and sprinkle and your face lit up. You loved every minute of it. I set my camera on my tripod and videoed your Papa and I singing Happy Birthday to you as you blew out your candles one by one throughout the song, finished by the end. I asked your Papa to light them a second time, so I could get some pictures too and he obliged, accompanied by eye rolls, but he obliged. You didn't seem to mind, but were concerned about the water (wax) dripping off the candles onto the cake. We probably ate a lot of wax with our brownies.

You've talked with Papa a lot about what he does each day and you ask each morning he has to go to work if you can come with to ride the big machines. He patiently explains each time that the Air Force doesn't like to share their toys and you nod and ask with hopeful eyes, 'Someday?' I was a shy little girl, but there was a time when I stood on a stage and proudly proclaimed to the audience that I would be 'a firefighter, just like my Daddy.' I see that same sparkle in your eyes, that same reverence for what your Papa does all day while he isn't with us, and it makes me proud. I hope someday that you can look back on my 'work' here with you with a form of admiration, but for now - I'm happy your Papa is in the spotlight. He needs that - taking care of a family can be hard. So I went out in search of a construction site for you and found a little set of machines. We filled a tub full of barley and rocks and you and Papa played for hours, while I was content to sit and watch. It was a simple birthday, but just like our Christmas, it's simplicity made it something beautiful that I'll never forget.

Three years seems like very little, but it has felt like a lifetime. You brought joy into our lives that wasn't there before, but once it entered our lives, it felt familiar. It felt like you had always been there, a little bit of yourself in each of us, and now those little pieces had all come together to finally bring you here. I imagined you a long time before you were born, even long before I ever met your Papa. Somehow you turned out to be brighter, wilder, more beautiful than I had ever imagined. You have a spirit unlike anyone I've ever met. It can be a challenge to remember the beauty of it when it's intermingled with parenting, but I hope to polish you, never tame you. You are wild and loving, free and forgiving. You are so excited about life - when you run, you can't help but skip in excitement every few steps. There's something about it that makes strangers pause to watch you. Often I'm reminded by watching you that magic is real after all.

I love you, Evangeline Idella - more than you'll ever know, maybe more than I'll ever even be able to comprehend. Keep skipping through life in wild abandonment and I'll keep running along ride beside you, astounded by your beauty.

Love,
Mama

P.S. Ev's first + second birthdays + our first clock picture (each year we take a picture in front of a clock at the time she was born - 7:35)

SOME (LATE) CHRISTMAS BITS

I'm only a few weeks late, but hey! We had a major laptop malfunction that has temporarily been fixed with cables running out of all sides of it like IVs in a hospital, and each time I sit down to write I feel like I'm holding onto the hand of a friend, willing them to keep going. This little MacBook has been through it all with me. I've been busy trying to back up an enormous amount of pictures that date back to college and it's giving me all the feelings. I have yet to get to the newborn Evie portion - I'm sure I'll be a hormonal mess for a few days after that. Anyway, I'm back in business for a bit as long as the temporary fix holds out long enough for me to say 'no' to all the cute baby things (at least until said baby actually gets here) and opt for saving for a new computer instead.

Though it's been a few weeks, I couldn't help but share some bits of our Christmas.

I really didn't have high hopes for this Christmas - everything about our life is in waiting right now and Christmas has always been the time of year that makes me appreciate home the most. We have no home at the moment and I anticipated that making me a bit weepy, but I put on my Santa pants and made the best of it all. Before Ev and I left Albuquerque, we wandered the aisles of Target for half of a day planning out all the tiniest details of Christmas, down to a tiny Christmas tree with tiny twinkly lights. I packed it all into the back of our Jeep and felt a lot like I was driving the Grinch's sled off to Missouri. When we got here, we did all the traditional Christmas things that we always do and it wasn't quite as depressing as I thought it might be. I made the rookie mom mistake of telling Ev Christmas was coming soon, fully expecting her to shrug her shoulders and move on, but instead she lit up like a firecracker (or Christmas light) and asked me every morning and night when Christmas would be here. I didn't make the mistake of saying anything about presents; however, some kind of kid magic happened in which she instinctively knew that presents belonged under that tree and she kept shouting from the rooftops (or couch top), 'But where are the presents?!' We don't do Santa and even had a conversation along the lines of him being like a character in a book, so she was especially curious, and a bit panicked about who would bring the presents (like in the books we read) if Santa isn't real.

One night, I laid down next to her for our nightly routine where she wraps her arms around my head in a death squeeze and I mumble out the tune of a few songs - she leans over, looks me right in the eyes with one hand on my cheek, and whispers in my ear with all her toddler impediments, 'I know where the pwesents are. You and Papa hid them in the cwoset. . . It's ok dough. I won't wook.' She also insisted on no longer using any form of a proper greeting and would greet us with 'Mewwy Twistmas' instead of 'good morning' or 'good night.' I actually got another 'Merry Christmas, Mama' on this mid-January day as we put the tree away, but it seemed fitting. I like the way the girl thinks - squeeze one more in before the last bits of Christmas get packed away. For a few years there I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I had married a scrooge. Where was my fellow Christmas elf? After this Christmas, I think Ev will do a fine job. She has such an overwhelming Christmas spirit - she might bring out a little scrooge I didn't know I had in me.

So let's start with Christmas Eve.

I introduced her to her first proper hot cocoa in her own tiny Christmas mug and she was smitten. She's asked for more for the past three days and she practically hyperventilates when she starts to describe what she wants, '. . .the hot milk with the powdah (breathing heavily) and the BIG SMARSHMALLOW!' Mini marshmallows are just not welcome in the Jacobs household. It makes me very sad when the marshmallows melt. I prefer to drink my cocoa around my big fat marshmallow and let it get all melty on the outside - when the anticipation is too much I fish it out and eat it all in one bite in a very attractive manner, cocoa running down my chin.

24 WEEKS + THOUGHTS ON BECOMING FOUR IN 2015

 

As is customary around this time of year, I've been spending a lot of time reflecting on 2014. It was a whirlwind kind of year, to say the least. We moved four times to four different states and spent over half of the year staying in other people's homes, accepting the generosity and hospitality of others, but never being able to give any in return. It was adventurous and it was unforgettable and it was hard. It was trying. It was draining. It was taxing on our family, finances, and hearts. Brooklyn was completely worth it, but I'm relieved to be on the other side, looking back at all of it and forward to a fresh start. After all of the change we've been through, heels dug in the ground and my hands over my eyes for most of it, I just don't have the energy to join in the new year hullabaloo with a list of goals and such. Realistically, I'll be spending the majority of my energy and thoughts on birthing a baby and falling in love with said baby and helping my people get our life sorted out, and that's ok with me - or at least I'm trying to make that ok with me. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't lay down goals and walk away from them lightly. Before I birth said baby, I'm trying my hardest to enjoy being three. I'm thrilled at the idea of meeting this new life, but I'm equally terrified at the thought of staying at home with two, the possibility of battling depression again, having a challenging time breastfeeding again. It was all so unbelievably hard the first time around and though I'm entering into this new phase of motherhood with more experience and perspective, the fear is there and makes me wonder whether its always a companion for mothers when adding another to their home, whether its their 2nd or 6th?

Along with the fear comes a touch of sadness at it no longer being just the three of us, or just Ev and I the majority of the time. I find myself grasping for the time to cherish her, but facing disappointment instead. The life we're headed back to in March is not the life I want for her, and this is not how I wanted to spend our last months together. The defiance that comes with being almost three has been a regular companion most days and my desire to cherish it all before we're a family of four makes for a horrible match against parenting and discipline. I swing from high to low each day, from overreacting and being overwhelmed to checking out completely and doing nothing out of defeat. I make lists to try to make sense of our lives when there's no sense or solution to be found. I know that no matter how many lists I make, it won't all get done in the two weeks we'll have to prepare, it all can't be afforded, and my experience will probably be nothing like what I'm imagining and hoping for. It will be good; nonetheless, because there's always good to be found in a new life, but I'm afraid it will be filled with more disappointment. I have no idea how I will manage two kids in all the circumstances that await us when we head back to Albuquerque. I have no idea how I will love another kid the way that I love Evie, how I will have enough good in myself to give to each of them.

If there's one thing I've learned through five years of marriage and (almost) two pregnancies, it's that life is uncontrollable. There's nothing like the change of seasons or the arrival of a new year to remind us of impermanence. I used to live under the assumption that it was in our control to bring a baby into the world at just the right time, when it would be the most convenient for us and our plans. Being (unexpectedly) pregnant through the holiday season has been a special time for me. It's given me a unique view through Mary's perspective - through all the wanderers' of the Bible. I'm sure giving birth in a manger wasn't what she had in mind. I wonder if she had thoughts along the lines of, 'Really? Right now? This can't wait until we're home? Or at least until we find a place to stay for the night?' When groups of the Bible were led this way and that, did the mothers long for home? Were they all just desperate for a place to rest and nurse their babies, for a normal life? Sometimes I'm thankful for the sporadic life we've lived, but oftentimes it has felt a lot like laying things down at each place we leave - my plans, dreams of home, financial goals, hopes of security, jobs, memories of my child. It feels a lot like closing the door on all of that and oh, how that begins to hurt after you do it repeatedly and how obvious it becomes that I'm holding tightly to things that I don't want to relinquish control of - things I think are important, but are just specks of dust in our lives.

I imagine there's a special kind of freedom that comes from giving it all up, from unclenching your fists, laying it down, and walking away - the perfectly decorated house or even a home of our own, the baby brought home to a space that is ready for them, the defiant toddler who is battling her own wills and desires, the job you've been hoping for. When all of that is stripped away, I imagine you can really begin to live because you aren't wasting a single second planning and worrying about matters that are uncontrollable. I've learned many lessons in patience and perseverance and letting things go over the last year and that's been a hard road to walk for a perfectionist.

When I was pregnant with Ev, I couldn't imagine us as a family of three. I had no idea how two kids who like to sleep in and go on sporadic adventures were going to figure out life with a baby. While it didn't feel like our normal at all in the beginning, we came to be comfortable together, effortlessly in love. How I long for that learning curve, that awkward fumbling stage, to be shorter than the last. These three years with Ev have changed me beyond recognition and I will always cherish our memories together. She will probably never remember a time without her sibling, but I will. In 2014, I learned that big changes often bring hard times with them, but there is always beauty to be found. While I don't look forward to the difficulty that might await us, I do look forward to the inevitable beauty and joy that will be found in this new season of life. I know that the fumbling feeling of a new person joining us will wear off and will all settle in to our effortless love once again.

So here's to 2015 and letting it all go and falling in love with a brand new person.

KEEP CALM CRAFT ON • HANDMADE CHRISTMAS GIFTS

There's something about Winter that puts me in the mood to create, work with my hands, make things for the people I love. I've really been itching to bring out my sewing machine and start preparing clothes and blankets and the like for this Spring baby, but pretty much my entire studio is in storage - so I've been hoarding things on my Pinterest boards to compensate. I did happen to grab my knitting bag and all the yarn I could fit in it and find a little spot for when packing up the car, so that's been my creative outlet here in Missouri. Back in July, I finished a scarf up for Alex that was intended to be a February birthday scarf. I've had a matching hat on my to-do list since (I'm quite the procrastinating crocheter it seems). I knew we would be on a tight budget for Christmas this year and I guess that was just the excuse that I needed to get motivated and whip one up. I used this video tutorial, but started with 16 stitches instead of 12 since my yarn was a bit thinner than what she uses in the video. I finished off the edge by alternating between front post double crochet and back post double crochet to give it a ribbed look. Alex seems pretty fond of it and says it's warm, so I consider it a success for my first attempt at a beanie, especially since I had to tweak the pattern and wing it a bit. He catches me staring at him a lot when he wears it because I just can't get over how neat it is that I made that and it doesn't look like he's wearing a pot holder on his head or something. I touched each stitch and it actually looks like a hat.

We spent Thanksgiving weekend in Los Alamos and a friend gave me a crash course in knitting while we were there. I've always wanted to learn, but just haven't had the patience to wade through Youtube videos to teach myself. I played around for a few weeks before deciding I was confident enough to set out on a legitimate project. A little scarf for Ev seemed doable, so I started with 24 stitches and used a garter stitch until I felt like it was long enough (180 rows or so). I added the tassels to the end because she had been asking for a 'colorful scarf,' and I'm really pleased with how it turned out. I don't have the things I need to block anything, but my stitches were all pretty tight and even and the little imperfections seem to make it all come together as a kid scarf, in my opinion. I think I'm going to try my hand at a cowl for myself next. I'd really like to move beyond scarves and start knitting in the round to make a hat, but that seems a bit overwhelming right now. We'll see. I also have plans to knit a little mustard yellow bonnet for the new babe, but I obviously have no newborn to test it on - so Ev's baby doll will probably have to suffice.

I'm linking up with Keep Calm, Craft On over at Frontier Dreams.

'The act of creating, in one form or another, preserves my sanity amongst the chaos of life.

This explains why I always have more than one project going at a time as well as why my housework tends to fall behind. I enjoy seeing what others are working on and keeping calm with, too.

What are you creating? What is keeping you going?'

HALLOWEEN FESTIVITIES

All has been quiet on the internet front these days, so I thought it time to play a little catch up. Alex asked me why I hadn't been blogging yesterday and I'll offer you all the same truth - life is just not very inspiring these days. In between times are hard for all of us, but it seems it's usually harder on me. Almost every day we find ourselves saying to each other, 'I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore.' We miss Brooklyn. I miss Brooklyn especially. We've been staying with some friends of ours and that's always a bit complicated with different schedules and different styles of parenting, but overall still good - we mostly just miss having a home. I haven't been able to do much of what I normally do to keep myself fulfilled because you don't just pull out your tubs of fabric and sewing machine in someone else's house and go at it. I'm a very messy seamstress. I've taken to teaching myself how to knit to relieve a teensy bit of my itch to make. I feel it's slightly more polite to leave some needles and a skien of yarn laying around rather than a whole craft room. Alex has been job hunting like a pro and still no one has called. He's leaving in December for military training and won't be back until three weeks before my due date, so we were hoping to find a place and settle in a bit before he left but if there's no job, there's no home. I'm freaking out a little bit at the possibility of our second baby entering the world to two parents with no income and no home, but we're at a loss. Who let us become adults? I feel like we're really bad at adult life these days.

Now that the depressing life update is out of the way, I can catch up with a happier topic - Halloween festivities. Though technically the Balloon Fiesta isn't really Halloween related, it's an October tradition.

We woke up bright and early to try to catch the mass ascension, but it ended up being too windy for the balloons to lift off so we watched a lot of them inflate then blow over. It wasn't a total waste though - it was a beautiful morning and we got to sit in the grass with Krispy Kremes in hand and watch the sun come up over the mountains. Before we went, we had talked to Ev about watching them fly, so she kept asking, 'They gonna go up?' When we told her it was too windy she seemed a little disappointed, but was mostly glad to just see hot air balloons up close and eat donuts. The night before, we attempted to watch the balloon glow, but a sandstorm with a tad bit of rain moved in just as we were pulling into a parking spot. It only lasted ten minutes or so, but that was enough to cancel it. They already had the fireworks ready though, so when the storm cleared out they shot them off early. We watched from the car with Ev sitting on the middle console, enjoying a 'picnit dinnah.' I'm pretty sure that was the best night of her life to date. We rolled the windows down and she stuck her head out, screaming and laughing as she watched the sky. Though both events pretty much got canceled, it was still the most memorable Balloon Fiesta we've had.

After spending the morning at the Balloon Fiesta, we decided to drive up to Rio Rancho for our annual pumpkin patch trip. We go to the Galloping Grace Youth Ranch patch every year because well, they don't charge admission, they have a ton of things for kids to do (they had more animals and added a mud pie kitchen this year that Ev spend a good hour in), and all proceeds from pumpkin sales go to a good cause. If you're local, definitely make sure you check them out next year. (We also get our Christmas trees from them each year.)

For Halloween, we were park rangers and Evie was an attempted Smokey the Bear. There are really no Smokey the Bear costumes out there and we already had the bear hat, so I tried to piece one together without spending any money. She carried around a little toy shovel all night and had people drop candy into Alex's hat. We had the whole shenanigan on, frumpy grandpa pants and pine cone belts and all, but as I've said before we have a terrible track record for getting good pictures of our costumes, so top half view is all you get. We had a low key Halloween and just went trick or treating with some friends. Ev led the pack and wasn't one bit shy about yelling 'trick or treat' or grabbing handfuls of candy out of people's bowls. This was the Halloween of no return - Evie now knows that trick or treating = candy. She's been talking about it nonstop since. Luckily she still has no idea how much candy she got, where it is, or that I gave away half of it. On a side note, did you ever take inventory of your candy as a kid? My sister and I would always lay ours out and sort them into piles so we could eat the good stuff first and trade our least favorites. I started to do the same thing with Ev's candy after bedtime last night and Alex informed me that we were the weird minority in that habit - they just reached in their bag and ate all their candy, there was no second grade candy with them.

I hope everyone had a fantastic Halloween! I miss this space and am hoping to get out of this funk soon and get back to writing. What are some of the best costumes you saw? In internet world, Whitney's kid's costumes were too cute. As you can tell from past years, I love coordinated family costumes.

P.S. some balloon fiesta pictures from the last time we were able to catch the mass ascension + our 2011 skeleton costumes • last year's pumpkin patch visit • our last two year's costumes (the Flintstones and astronauts)

NIAGARA FALLS

Our life has just been a whirlwind basically since the day we married. We've moved eight times in five years and have lived in four different states. We were on a tight budget since basically day one and not much has changed in that time - each year when our anniversary comes around we always contemplate whether to celebrate by going somewhere new. So far, we've always said yes and no matter the cost, it's always been worth it. We spent our honeymoon at Disney World, our first anniversary in Savannah, Georgia, our second in Dallas, Texas, our third on a motorcycle ride through the Sandia Mountains in New Mexico, our fourth in New York City, and our fifth at Niagara Falls. We haven't come close to seeing all that we want to see or taken many extravagant vacations, but I feel incredibly lucky to have experienced these places and more together. I'm a firm believer that traveling is never financially convenient for most people - you just have to make it a priority. You just have to do it.

It's about a seven hour drive from New York City to Niagara Falls using toll roads, but we always try to avoid paying tolls because East Coast tolls are straight up ridiculous. You might as well drive down the road with the windows down just throwing money into the air. We also wanted to have more to look at than the sides of an interstate, so we took a scenic route (scenic byway 97) and it ended up taking about eight and a half hours, but quite a bit longer with stops. The view was beautiful - rolling hills, farmland, winding roads, green saturated mountains with their tops hidden under a blanket of fog. We found this perfect little park to eat lunch in off of highway five called Clarence Town Park. If you ever make a similar drive, it's definitely worth the stop. It was like hitting the road trip with a toddler jackpot. They have three different playgrounds nestled in beautiful trees and a pond with a fountain that Ev spent a good 20 minutes throwing rocks into and pointing out a rainbow above it.

We spent the majority of our time on the American side of the falls, but stayed in a cute little place in Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario. We were just there for a few days and most of our time was spent driving, so we didn't get much time to explore anything more than the Falls, but I wish we had. This town was just idyllic. If there are any fellow Gilmore Girls fans out there, it was like Stars Hollow come to life, but even cuter. Outside of the town, along Niagara River Parkway, are beautiful homes and vineyards that we drove past each day. They became more enchanting each drive. I would love to come back to the area sometime just to explore this little town more. Friday night we walked into town in search of some good food and ended up at The Irish Harp Pub. We weren't sure how kid-friendly they might be, but they welcomed us two year old and all and we had a blast. They had live music, delicious food, and a good drink selection. Ev loved the music so much she didn't want to leave at the end of the night.

 

Saturday was a little rough as we spent two hours sitting in line at the border crossing with a screaming toddler going to the Falls and two hours sitting in line at the border crossing with a toddler that needed to poop and couldn't hold it any longer leaving the Falls. Hashtag real life. That's the only downside to staying in Canada and exploring the American side of the Falls - there are almost always long wait times at the border crossing. The one time that we zipped right through was at 9:00 A.M. on Sunday morning. We were able to laugh it all off though and had a good time regardless. We had been talking with Ev about seeing the big waterfall for weeks now because we knew we would be getting close at some point and didn't want her to be too scared. She was so excited and asked every day leading up to Saturday if today was the day we would drive to the big waterfall. I didn't want to stress too much about seeing all the tourist attractions in one day, so we just picked one, The Cave of the Winds, and that ended up being plenty for us. We put on our ponchos and climbed the stairs and platforms, closer and closer to the Falls. I left my camera safely tucked in the backpack for fear of it getting wet, but I bought a waterproof disposable camera and brought that along. By the end of it, the ponchos hadn't done much to keep us dry and our faces hurt from laughing so much. For a toddler, it seems that talking about getting wet under the waterfall and ACTUALLY being under the waterfall are two very different things. She didn't shed a tear, but changed moods between smiling, scared, and done with this attraction every few minutes. She's still talking about getting wet 'under da big watuhfaw' and asks if we're going back every day now.

The one thing that we had heard about the area around Niagara Falls was that the food was lacking. There are some chain restaurants and pizza joints, but we couldn't find much more until we stumbled upon the restaurant inside the Niagara Falls Culinary Institute. The food was delicious and their lunch prices were reasonable. It seems to be a well kept secret in the area as it wasn't very crowded, but trust me when I tell you to skip everything else and just eat here. My other piece of advice is that Smokin' Joe's has the cheapest deals on souvenirs, but if you don't fancy going there, the gift shops near the attractions in the National Park carry the same things and are also cheaper than the shops that border the park. The trolley tickets are also worth it - Ev flipped her lid about riding on a trolley like Daniel Tiger's.

I was really surprised and relieved to find so much in the area that was kid-friendly. All of the attractions allow babies and toddlers and most let them in free if they're under 6. We almost always bring Ev along on our adventures and it can be frustrating when places aren't welcoming towards families. 'See Niagara Falls' has always been on my bucket list and I have to say I wasn't disappointed. Though the trip was tiring, it was nice to get out of the city and reconnect with each other. The beauty was astounding and life is just a bit more enjoyable today as I think of all the smiles we shared and the experiences we had together. I love to think about all the memories we've made together and the ones yet to make. I hope my girl can look back on her childhood and trips like this and know that she belongs in this family, that she is loved.

(P.S. We took a different route home and ended up stopping at Dinosaur Barbecue in Syracuse. If you're ever close by, it's worth it.)