Guest Post • Big Sky Lullaby • Sleep + Summer Vacation

ev's first trip to the beach

Back before I actually had a baby, terms like 'child sleep consultant' and 'sleep training' sounded like a foreign language to me. 'Don't babies sleep a lot?' I would have asked, but it really isn't that simple. Some people get lucky and their kid is just a natural born sleep master who goes down easily at all the right times and stays asleep all night, but the majority of us really have to work at it. It's like a science. Anyway, Diana is a child sleep consultant who shares some of her knowledge through her blog over at Big Sky Lullaby and also offers private consultations. We've been emailing back and forth over the last few months, trying to find time in our busy schedules to exchange ideas and basically just get on the same page. We finally managed to get all of our ducks in a row and make this happen. It's so refreshing to interact with someone to who has an understanding of the hardships in juggling motherhood and a career. As some of you know, this family of mine has been put through the ringer in the sleep department. Ev didn't sleep through the night until she was 18 months old and by 'didn't sleep through the night,' I don't mean she woke up once or twice at night. She was awake around the clock, every two to three hours like a newborn. How we made it through that and solved her sleep issues is another post for another day, but needless to say, a sleep consultant would have been a God-send. Without further adieu, here's Diana with advice on keeping your babies and toddlers on a sleep schedule this Summer.

Sleep should not be compromised in order to enjoy your summer vacation, and the good news is it doesn’t have to be! With summer upon us, I wanted to take this opportunity as a guest blogger to provide some suggestions about maintaining healthy sleep while on family vacations. Believe it or not, there is a way to keep your children on a schedule so that their normal routine is not permanently disrupted, while also getting the opportunity to relax and enjoy your time away!

It's important to take into account your child’s age and the location you'll be traveling to. Be realistic, you can't have late nights with no concern for time, and then expect your child to cooperate the next day. Never forget that sleep begets sleep; in other words, the more they sleep, the more they sleep! When your child is put to bed at a much later time than usual, this can be acceptable if, and only if, your child is on a solid routine to begin with. It is much easier to make an exception for a special occasion and have your child snap back into their normal schedule the following day if their schedule is solid and consistent; however, a week’s vacation doesn't really qualify as a special occasion. 

TRAVEL

Let’s begin with some tips and suggestions for your time spent traveling to your destination. If you're driving to your vacation spot, start your trip at the beginning of your child’s nap time. This is one of my few exceptions to my rule of motion sleep. (More to come on motion sleep.) This will give your child a good amount of time to nap and by the time they wake up, you'll be several hours into your trip. 

If you're flying to your destination, nurse or bottle feed your baby during take-off and landing to help with the pressure on their ears. Buy a small toy that your child has never seen before and pack it for them with some snacks and comfort items. When it is time for them to nap, hand them their usual comfort item that they bring to bed (pacifier, lovey, teddy bear, etc.) and let them know it is time to sleep. Every once in a while, take your toddler for a walk up and down the aisle in order to get their wiggles out.

SLEEP ENVIRONMENT

Once you've arrived at your destination, set up your space in a way that will be as familiar of a sleep environment to your child as possible. For example, bring the big blanket you use to cover them in their crib at home, not just the small one that they use for comfort. Bring some of their stuffed animals or dolls. If you are in a hotel room, you can use a dark corner of the room to set up their pack 'n' play or you can also use the bathroom and treat it like their own room.

Pay extra attention to your bedtime routine; go slow and provide extra comfort and soothing time if needed. Your child might be apprehensive about the new environment at first, but just keep reassuring them that Mom and Dad are nearby, just like at home.

MUST HAVES AND JUST-IN-CASE

Always bring medicine. I travel with everything I would need if my baby were to come down with a fever while we're away. It's very common for a child to catch a cold if they're on a plane, and you don’t want to be caught off guard in the middle of the night, in an unfamiliar place, around unfamiliar people. Here is a list of 'Must Haves' and some 'Just-In-Case' items that I recommend.

Must Haves

• Thermometer (Make sure it has batteries if needed, and the cover to go over the tip that gets changed after each reading.)
• Tylenol and Motrin (Bring both in case you need to switch off using them every four hours.)
• Nose syringe (If your child is having trouble breathing.)
• Saline Drops (Helps clear what the syringe can't.)
• Vicks Vapor Rub
• Gripe water or Gas drops 

Just-In-Case

• Teething tablets (Teeth like to present themselves at the most inconvenient of times, especially the molars!)
• Prune juice or natural child laxative (Many child experience constipation while traveling.)
• Portable Vicks Vaporizer

SUMMER NIGHTS

Let’s be realistic, you didn’t spend all of this money and go through all of this hassle to go on a vacation and not spend some nights out relaxing and enjoying yourself, whatever that may mean for you. In an ideal world we would bring along a babysitter, nanny, sibling or parent who could remain at the hotel after the kids are in bed so that you and your spouse can enjoy some nights out. If that’s a possibility for your family, I highly recommend it. If not, you just need to plan it out in a way that gives everyone time to enjoy themselves without compromising your children’s need for healthy sleep. Here is what I suggest:

If you are going somewhere where you can sit out on your porch and relax after you put the kids to bed at a reasonable hour and enjoy yourselves, this is an ideal situation. It's also something to look for when planning and booking your vacation destination. If you are on vacation with a group of people, plan your nights out in advance and take turns with your spouse. This will eliminate all surprises and will give everyone a turn to relax and enjoy things such as a late dinner or a show.  

OUT AND ABOUT

*Motion sleep occurs when your child sleeps in motion; such as in a car, a swing, or in a stroller. Since the child is in motion although they appear to be asleep, they never enter the deep sleep phase and therefore never benefit from the mental and physical restoration that sleep provides.

However, vacations are an exception to my rule of motion sleep. Although it is not ideal, it is also not detrimental. Motion sleep is often used to “save the over tired state,” meaning that if you are out and about during your vacation and unable to go back to your hotel room in order to put your child down for a nap, let them sleep in the stroller or car. This will prevent them from being overtired at bedtime and ultimately having trouble falling asleep and waking during the night.

The key to a nap during a busy and exciting vacation day is a comfort item. For example, if your child is attached to a lovey, keep it in your bag and then right at their usual nap time, no matter where you are, hand the lovey to your child and this will signal to them that it is time for sleep. Try your best to put a blanket over the stroller to darken the sunlight, or if you are in a car perhaps use a shade for the windows.

TIME CHANGE

If you're traveling to a different time zone, remember that they will not adjust to the time change as quickly as you will, so this needs to be taken into account. I advise parents to watch their child more than they watch the clock and really pay attention to sleep signals. Go about your family’s daily routine as normal and your child will follow your cues and understand when it is time for sleep.

My main piece of advice is to know your child. If they are a sensitive sleeper, don’t push them to adjust to a schedule that you know they will not take to very well. It will just mess with their regular schedule that you probably spent a lot of time and effort getting them on in the first place. If you have a child that adjusts easily to sleep situations, you are lucky and are able to be more flexible. Either way, no matter how quickly your child may adjust, everyone needs healthy amounts of sleep in order to function and ensure that every member of the family enjoys your summer vacation!

You can find Diana over at bigskylullaby.com. Feel free to leave any questions below, as I'm sure Diana would love to answer them.

Guest Post • Hand and the Heart

Any of you who have been readers of HMRM for an extended amount of time know about my love for adventure, so I was so excited to share this guest post with you from Andrea over at Hand and the Heart! I gave her the choice of writing about a dream she had accomplished or her favorite winter recipe and like I would have done, she chose to write about a dream. Honestly, just like in real life, I'm sort of a distanced blogger. To keep myself from spending too much time on the computer or reading instead of writing, I keep my blog following to a minimum, which means that I'm not in a lot of blogging circles and I don't have a lot of women that I'm super close to (yet!). My point in saying all of this is Andrea is worth following. Her writing is simple and honest and heartwarming and I just love her and I haven't even met her. So here it is: a guest post about this awesome lady climbing a mountain. (I am so jealous of your feat, by the way! My husband and I have talked about climbing a lot and would love to do this someday.)

P.S. If any of you are interested in guest blogging on HMRM, send an email my way. We have a lot of driving and settling in to do over the next few weeks, so there will be plenty of room for other lady bloggers' (or men, whatever) thoughts. (andrealanejacobs@yahoo.com)

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Hey there my friends! I blog over at Hand and the Heart. I'm so excited that Andrea asked me to contribute to her space here. I think she is one of the most genuine people I have come to know through blogging, and I love that about her. Plus, we share a name and have similar birth philosophies, so that basically makes us soul sisters, right!? :)

I'm going to stray off my usual writing topics about babies and motherhood, and share a story about climbing a mountain. Andrea asked me to write about a dream I have achieved that I'm proud of, and standing up at 11,239 feet is what came to my mind first. I know, I know...I probably should have thought about "becoming a mother" or "marrying the man of my dreams" or something. Sorry fam.

Standing on the summit of Mount Hood, Oregon's highest peak, was a dream achieved for me because honestly I never thought it was possible. I've always idolized my dad's adventurous nature and his zeal for the great outdoors. I spent much of my childhood hiking through the Olympic Mountains and camping under the stars in the middle of the forest. In college, I asked my Dad if he would help me climb something. We set our sights on Mount Hood, for my Dad had climbed in many times before. I wore my climbing boots to the gym every day, working that stair master to the ground. Physically, I was at the top of my game. Mentally, I was nowhere close. There was so much fear blocking my way. Fear of falling, fear of dying, fear of failing. I read the articles about people who had died on the mountain. I focused on the dangers, instead of the rewards. We turned around halfway to the summit. Broken-hearted.

A few years later, we decided to give Mount Hood another attempt. But the living, breathing mountain was ferocious in her attempts to deny us the chance.The fog wrapped around us and created zero visibility, the damp was chilling to our bones, and it was apparent very early on that once again, Hood wouldn't let us reach her peak. Again, broken-hearted. I felt like this was one dream I would have to let slip through my fingers.

A few weeks later, we decided to give it one more go before it got too late in the season to climb safely. I still didn't think I would ever make it to the summit. Sitting at the base of the mountain, staring way up into the heavens seemed so far away. My mind wandered to the fumaroles, the crevasses, the bergschrund on the hogsback that was opened. The hundreds of ways I could fail. But at 2 a.m., I dutifully strapped on my crampons, with my ice ax tied securely to my pack, and we set off for the rising sun.

My breath became regulated, my steps became routine. I pushed, and pushed, and pushed. I watched the moon set over the horizon and the sun cast duplicate shadows of the mountain on the land below. I didn't dare look the way we came. We finally reached the point of making the final summit push at an area called Crater Rock. My dad roped the three of us together again, but my part of the line grew tight. The fear wrapped around me like the fog on our prior attempt, and I couldn't move. The summit was so close, a mere 60 minutes up. But I couldn't. The tears came. My dad's gentle voice telling me that if we had any chance of making the summit, we needed to keep moving before the sun started melting the ice pack. I looked up, and I looked back. Stuck.

My husband. My dear my husband. Where I failed myself, where I didn't believe, he did. He climbed up to me. He wrapped his arms around me and whispered a prayer in my ear. He told me I was capable. He told me that he would never let me fall. I wiped my tears, took a breath, and set off after my Dad and his encouraging words, up to the summit. It was steep going, we took an alternate route up the south side old crater chute, and I had to focus every bit of my energy on every single step. The final pitch hit around a 50 degree angle up the chute, and with one final grasp my ax dug over the lip of a snow cap, I passed the most dangerous section and lifted myself to the summit of Mount Hood, just as beams of sun cast a heavenly glow over the ice formations. A dream achieved.

Of course, with all mountain climbing, both figurative and literal, reaching the summit is only half the battle. Our time at the top was spent cautiously (one woman fell 2,500' to her death down the North side a couple of years ago). The climb down often offers more opportunities for sliding and tripping, and statistically speaking is the most common time people are killed. I didn't realize how steep the pitch was until I was faced with going down it, side stepping and praying I wouldn't lose my nerve or my balance. Going down was intimidating because falling doesn’t mean you slide for a few feet and stop, falling means you typically slide and tumble all the way down whatever slope you are on until you fall into a crevasse, over the edge of a cliff, or into a fumarole where you die from affixiation if the fall doesn’t kill you. Usually, the weakest link (being me) would descend first in the rope line, with the stronger climbers behind so they can self-arrest if the weakest climber were to fall. However, I was so nervous that I couldn’t go down first, so my husband went in front of me to help talk me through and guide my steps, and my Dad, being the strongest and most experience climber, was in the back. I literally had to keep telling myself, "stab ice axe into snow, step left foot down, pause, step right foot" (while looking for a safe spot to step), repeat, to keep myself focused on what I was doing and not what I was afraid of. I am so proud of myself. I was very scared, and crying, but I kept moving and stepping and making clear decisions.

A climber above us knocked loose a large chunk of ice that came barreling down the side of the mountain, knocking me in the calves and nearly out from under myself. My dad and husband still tease me about the string of profanities that came furling out of my mouth. I'm fortunate that was the extent of it, for many climbers have been killed when falling chunks of ice have hit them. The rest of the trip was spent glissading down the mountain, covering so much ground, speeding along on such a high that I didn't even notice the ice and speed had burned two holes straight through all my layers and tore the flesh straight off my buns. Two large, red, fleshy wounds that resembled road rash on each butt cheek. Bloody, oozy, and extremely painful. Of all the injuries I could have gotten while climbing…I get two raw sores on my bottom!? Ha! 

Climbing, and summiting Mount Hood was such a rewarding experience, both mentally and physically. A moment I will treasure forever. Every time we drive through Portland and see Mount Hood looming over the city, I can barely believe I stood on the very top of it. This dream achieved was a true labor of love. My dad's experience and guidance got us to the summit, but I could never have made it had my husband not evaporated all the fear from my mind (and then later cleaned my wounds for weeks on end). Dreams are achieved when we work together. It took me three tries, but I finally did it.

I don't know these guys, but this is a short video clip of the chute I climbed. 

And a lovely shot of the view looking down (for perspective).